The green eyed monster lives within me.
It is a fact that one can be beautiful yet possess zero sex appeal. Aishwarya Rai leaps to mind. I think she is pretty (in that conventional, insipid sort of way) but I would not have sex with her. I know, I know – I’m not a man but I am a straight woman and if there is one thing we can identify it’s another woman’s sexual allure. Sex appeal has little to do with good bone structure, flawless skin or toned abdominal muscles. It has to do with heat – that inexplicable quality that separates good old Jennifer Aniston from Angelina Jolie. Both women are lovely looking but only one of them looks like she would give good head. And yes – as a straight woman I know which one that is.
I can see it from miles away and I pay attention to it because as a female I view all other females as competition. It’s not personal, it’s biological and I have not evolved to the point where this type of thing no longer matters. I am a sad, sick little human and this malady manifests itself in several ways.
First: I am loath to admit (out loud) to another woman’s hotness. I am fully prepared to compliment a woman on her sense of style, her intelligence and her culinary capabilities but I choke at the thought of admitting that she’s hot. The only time I am willing to verbally acknowledge it is if the woman in question is a close friend, a lesbian or Angelina Jolie. Why? I’m never jealous of my close friends, lesbians don’t fish in the same pond, and Angelina Jolie is imaginary.
Second: If I do throw the hotness compliment at someone who does not fall in to one of the previously mentioned categories then it is more than likely that she isn’t that hot to begin with. I know I am being a big fat fraud but apparently I am not alone. I was flipping through the latest GQ magazine and came upon a letter from a woman who had written in thanking the editor for having Tina Fey on a recent cover. She went on to say that Ms.Fey was the sexiest thing on earth and that she was the only woman that her husband was allowed to have a crush on. It makes complete sense. For all the brains, beauty and body Ms.Fey packs she lacks heat. It’s like allowing your husband to have a crush on your mother. I like this woman – her insecurity reminds me of me.
Lastly: If my husband and I are walking through Union Square (aka The Square of Hotness) and he casually and very stupidly mentions that a passing blond is a babe I tend to respond with one of several stand-by comments.
She’s definitely psycho – did you see her eyes?
She needs a bath – did you see how filthy her hair was?
And if she is really amazing then I go for the jugular.
Oh please – who wears flip flops without bothering to get a pedicure?
For a long time I believed that pointing out a woman’s imagined mental instability, grubbiness, and lack of good grooming would shame him in to changing his mind. Now I know I’m just saying these things to make myself feel better – if only for a moment.
hahaha woman i feel you
men btw do th same thing, if therez a hot dude they will instantly bitch him out… 
And when they see ahot woman they act like they discovered her!
My Jugular Line: (accompanied by wide-eyed incredulity at man’s stupidity)
“Oh please – she is sooo an escort. You know…the young ones from “good families” looking to be wined and Vuittoned. Can’t you make out?”
You’re not lesbian or Angie but you’re still a close friend so I can say it out loud: YOU’RE HOT BABY!! Miss u!! Great post!!
Lol!!
Vazi vazi am I hot? am I hot? My hair is clean, my feet are pedicured “spa” pedicured and I am not imaginary.
P.s
I am ur friend
am I hot?
yes puj – you definitely are!
hey Radhika, this one’s impressive. Saw “Sex & the City 2″ yesterday & the cinema was packed with women & probably spotted about two men in a crowd of about 150-200. It was kind of a strange experience ‘coz I did’nt laugh once during the entire movie, despite the giggles & cackles all around intermittently. It was’nt that the movie was’nt funny or good, it was just that, when I used to watch this series on television many years ago I was in a relationship & a good one at that on many levels. This time around whilst watching the movie I found myself single & unable to relate to the women on screen, except maybe for Kim Catrall..
Sure, it was just a movie & maybe I should’nt make too much of my reaction to it, how else can I explain it. You speak of sex appeal & heat in your blog, sure it’s not about looks, it’s about life & how it’s treated you that makes a person appear a certain way, try not to judge – just observe…would love to see your writing reflect that.
Rajneesh
history is littered with casualties who allowed their husband to have a crush on their mother, ms. robinson
crap – i forgot about her.
No way! Deepak always tells me that you’re not hot! Now I totally don’t believe him.