The meek shall not be inheriting the earth any time soon.
‘I think I may be close to failing my squat’, I moaned to Coach Margie Lempert, a strength coach at my gym. For those of you who do not lift weights, ‘failure’ is the inability to move a particular weight and it happens to everyone at some point.
Margie listened politely and then simply said, “You know what – you’re strong, you’re just timid.” I was too shocked to ask for an explanation, and then her client arrived and she had to go, leaving me on the training platform with the bar and my insecurities.
A few days later – and totally unrelated to my fitness regimen – I read about a phenomenon called SlutWalk. For the uninitiated, SlutWalk is a protest march that originated in Toronto, Canada. The impetus for this movement stemmed from the words of a male police officer, who during a talk on safety uttered these words, “…women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized…”. Instead of blaming SHITTY law enforcement, the officer blamed the victim, and instead of lying back and taking it a group of women got together and decided that they were going to dress like ‘sluts’ and march in protest of this blatant BULLSHIT.
The idea caught like wildfire with SlutWalks being hosted all over the world, and I was delighted to learn that a young Indian woman had organized a version of SlutWalk in our nation’s capital. With one of the highest rape stats on the planet I truly believed that this would be a good thing – our girls were taking matters in to their own hands and actually doing something about it. I was truly proud to be an Indian woman. And then, just like that, I read something that infuriated me – there was opposition to SlutWalk in India!
Sure I expected it, but I also expected the objectors to be men, old ones on their way out! But instead I came across these gems on the Internet, spouted by, of all people, Ms. Shobha De – a woman, and an educated woman at that: “Naming the protest ‘slut walk’ degrades women even if it has shock value,” AND “It’s a campaign driven by women in the West. It does not connect with women in the Indian context.”
Let me deal with this CRAP one turd at a time.
The fact that Ms. De is being so literal about the word ‘slut’ is just embarrassingly OLD-fashioned. That she lives in a world where the word degrades women tells me that she is out of touch. It is laughable that she thinks ‘slut’ has shock-value! What year are we in again? I for one have been using the word ‘slut’ as a compliment for ages and am pleased to report I am not alone. By doing so I do believe we devalue it as an insult. The way we did with the word ‘bitch’. But I am guessing Ms. De isn’t aware of that either.
She then has the nerve to tell us that it’s a campaign driven by the west and that we Indian women won’t connect to it. Here is what I would like to know – Ms. De, what are you smoking and might I have some? There is nothing western about the fear of rape, it seems like a very eastern concern if you ask me. The only people who can’t relate are the rich who live in safe zones that only money can buy. And seriously – if you have your La Perla undies in such a wad over SlutWalk, then come up with a better idea than just a half-arsed critique of this one.
But it isn’t just Ms. De. It’s a bunch of other people I have spoken to since then. Many think that we ladies are up in arms over nothing, and that there are ‘bigger’ problems for us to deal with. Really? There is a bigger problem than basic safety for HALF our population? Like it or not India is a country where a woman has to worry about what she wears, because if she doesn’t she might end up with the wrong kind of attention. And until our women are safe it is not an equal society.
Margie was right, timidity will get us nowhere. Being good, nice little girls who do the ‘right’ thing will get us nowhere. Worrying about what people think of us will get us nowhere. I applaud Ms. Sabarwal for having the balls to organize this protest in the face of all the opposition. Regardless of the outcome it shows me that young Indian women are no longer willing put up with a corrupt, inept police system and instead, like their Canadian sisters, are staging a fight for their BASIC rights.
SlutWalk may not be the answer to all our problems but it certainly got a reaction. And that’s a start. As for me, well, I did fail my squat. But I’m going back tomorrow and this time I won’t be afraid.
I agree completely rads-Shoba De is so not a slut by the sound of things-although my guess is that men in Delhi will fail to get the point of the walk and it will be yet another lech fest- I just think anything short of a jolly good thumping won’t get the point across properly. But hats off to the lady organising this-one small step right?
Well said Radvaz.. Maybe Ms.De should put her money where her mouth is and donate hugely to scientific research for ‘re-wiring’ of the male mentality. Or was she suggesting that ‘writing a book’ in the safety of our eastern kitchens (lest the room ‘study’ be too western) would be the ideal way to respond??
might get a few phone numbers..
and the temple and the church actually!
Fantastic post Rad, raises the blood pressure a bit and makes one want to go out and get some red fishnet stocking and go for sunday prayers at the mosque!
I think all parts of the world should be able to borrow ideas from each other. How come there arent western celebs complaining about yoga classes on the grounds that it has no relevance in an western concept. I’ll tell you why. It is because Indian’s, even the intellectuals amongst us of which this Shobha De is unlikely to be one, have a HUGE FUCKING INFERIORITY COMPLEX. I am tired of it and a bit ashamed because they are so obvious about it.
Thanks for writing this post – I was really sore about Ms. De’s comments, who IMO nothing but a pretentious slob (have you read her? I cannot believe she ever sold a copy!!)